by Bianca Bisson
Since neither Gandalf nor Yoda have yet come out of hiding for a one on one duel to prove once and for all whose imaginary world is best, I must sweep in to tell the masses the truth: it does not take a wizard to realize that Lord of the Rings is superior to Star Wars.
An aspect of Lord of the Rings that makes it easier for your average Joanna to relate is the lack of the “Force” and the abundance of human will. They may be just as small as Yoda, but Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry are tough. No, they do not have light sabers; no, they do not have space ships and laser firing guns. However, they still kick butt. Take Sam’s dramatic battle with the giant spider Shelob, in comparison to the fatal light saber duel between Obi-Wan and Darth Maul. The emotion and adrenaline portrayed by the hobbit Sam as he fights off this sedan-sized tarantula with nothing but a sword reaches into the very insides of the viewer or reader. On the contrary, the fight between Obi wan and Darth Maul is difficult to relate to what with the distracting light-up sticks they fling about.
Another perk of Lord of the Rings is its irresistibly beautiful setting. Green rolling hills, tall trees, lush forests, grassy plains, and fresh rivers beat the bleakness of outer space and the deserts of Tatooine any day. The hyper-technological setting of Star Wars is both depressing and unsettling because it portrays a world apart from a physical planet, and entirely reliant on gadgets and machines. Space ships cause discomfort and relay feelings of claustrophobia.
When it comes down to which series portrays females in the least damsel-in-distress light, Lord of the Rings takes the cake. There are just two notable female characters in Star Wars, Queen Amidala and Princess Leia, neither of which is given particularly strong personalities. Queen Amidala dies during childbirth of a “broken heart” because she was too dependent on Anakin, who left to go adventuring. Her daughter, Princess Leia, is kidnapped and exploited as a bikini-clad slave by the disgusting creature Jabba the Hutt. In Lord of the Rings, there is double the number of women than in Star Wars. Goldberry is portrayed as wise and independent; she happily lives with her husband in the woods out of her will and love for him. Arwen, the Elven princess, proposes to Aragorn and saves the life of Frodo from a troop of black riders. Galadriel is an Elvin queen. Not only does she bear a rare ring of power, she has the power to look into the future and is greatly feared and admired by all while still being portrayed as sane and beautiful. Eowyn, the last of the Middle-Earth women, is at first ridden with depression about her unreciprocated love for Aragorn. Then, she realizes the love for her family and her people is greater and rides into battle with the Rohan warriors, disguised as a male. On the battlefield, she bravely kills the Witch King, who in legend was immortal. As they stand face to face, he says ‘No man can kill me’, and in a flourish, Eowyn removes her helmet and replies ‘I am no man’. She then decapitates him. Although both series possess somewhat weak portrayals of women in general, the Lord of the Rings clearly does a better job.
The debate between whether Lord of the Rings or Star Wars is better could go on till the end of time. However, it will not because clearly Lord of the Rings is more awesome. Cynics: stay tuned because Gandalf and Yoga are both super-pumped about a face off, it is just a matter of them clearing up their date-books and being in town at the same time.