Oh, you’re homosexual? That’s great, have fun in Hell.
No, my perspective on homosexuality never reached the extreme above, but my opinion on being anything but heterosexual did come to a point that I would now call completely and utterly unacceptable, rude, and shameful. Being born and raised Catholic, some would immediately trace my previous ignorance to my religion, and they’d be right. Somewhat. While I did branch off the belief that homosexuality was wrong from the Bible, it was my own rather idiotic belief that being gay was a choice, and thus, those who chose to be that way, were sinful. Over this past summer, I decided to reexamine my thoughts on this same-sex attraction, and in order to do so, I had to remove myself from both sides of the spectrum. Since I made a point of not associating with gays or lesbians, avoiding them was easier. The opposite side was, in short, not going to church and or reading the Bible. Both, actually, proved to be easy, and my process-of fixing my distorted view-had begun.
As difficult as it was to admit when I first realized it, the truth has surfaced, for some rather unsurprisingly. Without the religious influence, I see nothing wrong with homosexuals. Before, as ashamed as I am to admit, before I would ridicule them relentlessly; their mannerism, the way they portrayed themselves, all making me repeat the same slurs over and over that I had learned throughout middle and high school. I can’t excuse myself, nor apologize enough, but I can change my ways, and I have. I disagree with the Church, and to an extent, if they truly believe God is against homosexuality, then fine. I guess I disagree with “God” on that issue.
This new outlook I have-over the summer-developed about people who are gay, is not one that has come easy. That was to be expected. Although those who already hold this viewpoint would argue that the transformation is easy, if there is need for one to begin with, one must observe it from my side. A baptized and raised person of such a strong knit faith would, or should I say did, find it near impossible to switch to what is really “the other side”, of the concept of homosexuality. No, every mass and page of the Bible was not condemning gay people, but like a tower of Jenga blocks, removing just one piece can cause a whole foundation to crumble. My thoughts on same-sex individuals was a significant piece, and the debate in my head caused many sleepless nights and meaningless days. I had the idea formed, it was simple: There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with people who are homosexual. Yet, I had a persistent belief that switching my opinion on this would shatter the already fragile glass of my faith that was constantly trembling. In short, I was having doubts and I feared changing my views would allow these doubts to cloud my mind and ruin all I had learned growing up. It may not seem significant to others, but losing faith in all you had grown up believing to be true is a great loss. Regardless of the struggle with my faith, I can now be somewhat proud, not of my past for that is a disgrace, but of my change.