By Suzanne McNamara

My mom would say, “It’s a birthmark,” to the concerned people looking at my red cheek. “But thanks for pointing it out,” she would add with clear irritation. It’s always nice to know people are legitimately concerned with your daughter’s face, right?
Some of my earliest memories are of strangers asking what happened to me. I was already shy, but strangers at the grocery store would mention my cheek and ask if I was okay, some people would even reach out and touch my face. They wondered if I had been abused. I felt embarrassed and worried. This happened everywhere: school, the park, the mall, even at my friends’ homes, parents asked about my red mark when they first met me.
I became embarrassed by my face. At first, I never thought that much about it, my birthmark, it had always been there, it was just part of my face.
When I was in elementary school my classmates would ask me what happened or what was wrong with my face. I responded in different ways. In my quiet little voice I told people.
“It’s a birthmark.”
I grew tired of everyone questioning me and began to lie.
“It’s a scratch”
“I was burned.”
“I fell on my face.”
They were all clearly lies, but I did think some people believed me. And because we were so young they probably did.
Beginning in sixth grade I have tried to find make-up to hide my birthmark. My mom spent tons of money trying to help me feel secure and raise my self-esteem. All I wanted was for the red spot to go away. I tried different brands of foundation and concealer. They seemed to work in the store, but would fade and the redness would be exposed after less than an hour.
In seventh grade I had laser surgery to reduce the color. It resulted in a huge black mark on my face. I wore a bandage. I felt so ugly. My mom even cried when she first saw me. I went through all that pain and now it looked worse. I had to wait for it to fade. It ended up a little lighter than it was originally, but I still had my birthmark.
People continued to ask what the redness on my face was. And I continued to have to answer.
Now in high school I feel like it is part of me. I can’t decide if I want to try to have it fully removed. But at least now people seem to know better and don’t ask until they actually know me.
People need to realize birthmarks are like freckles: they are just there. There is no reason for the mark and a person has no control over it. No one would ask someone with a lot of freckles: “What’s wrong with your face?”